Hello and Happy New Year. It's been six months since my last blog post. Hard to believe.
Please enjoy these pics of Sammy in order of birth to six months. Wow! He is a cutie I must say.
A couple of the biggest lessons I've learned so far as a Mom are:
- don't worry about getting it perfect, just get it done.
- prioritize, prioritize, prioritize
Using the new Mommy lessons, you will find future posts to be regular, shorter and include pics.
People keep asking me how much I'm enjoying being a Mom ("Mum"as they say here in Oz). Well, let's just say that I could never have imagined how totally consuming it is to be a new Mother. At the baby shower in February (another blog post that I need to complete!) people told me not to be upset if I found that I didn't have time in the day to brush my teeth or get out of my pajamas. I thought that sounded extreme. Ha! Time flies, day turns in to night and night in to day. It is Monday then Saturday. March and then October. It is all a blur to me.
Initially many of the challenges came as a result of my decision to breastfeed. It seems like it would be such a natural, easy thing to do: baby to the boob, drink, done. Not so much. Major learning curve. There are full-scale organizations dedicated to helping new moms learn to breastfeed and encouraging them not to give up. In the US only 14% of Moms exclusively breast fed for the first 6 months. How about this pic of a working mom multi-tasking?! Holy cow! Pun intended.
A baby's stomach is the size of his tiny little fist, so Sammy was eating every three hours around-the-clock. In fact, he still does. For the first couple of months it was especially exhausting because the feeds lasted about two hours including nappy (diaper) change. Tiny babies can't suck that strongly thus drink very slowly. That was two hours of hell during which time Sammy and I were both in tears. He was working so, so hard to attach himself to the boob, really struggling, and not always successful. I was feeling helpless, sleep-deprived and physically wrecked. My neck, back, arms, shoulders, wrists and hands ached through and through from contorting myself to position him properly so he could drink. Then I would have to hold the impressive Twister position for hours. I will never again look judgementally at the National Geographic women with their obscenely low hanging boobs; they have got it right;in fact, perfect!
To help with the positioning and relieve some of the pain during feeding, I tried all kinds of breast feeding pillows--from home-made foam jobs to $200 designer best-in-class models; nothing worked. Then, one day in an opp shop (what thrift stores are called here, short for "opportunity shop") my friend Daniela spotted a hard, blue crescent pillow with a teddy bear motif. For $5 it worked like a charm and I am eternally grateful to Daniela and the person who donated it to the Op Shop in the first place!
It wasn't just the pillow that saved the day. It was also correcting a tongue-tie and finding an awesome Lactation Consultant. I had never heard of tongue-tie before, but apparently it is really common. Many babies are born with it--basically the little piece of skin that connects under the tongue to the mouth (the frenum) is too short so restricts movement of the tongue, thus making it hard for babies to suck. If serious, it can affect speech abilities later in life. The medical name for tongue-tie is ankyloglossia (just in case that ever comes up in conversation!). Anyway, one of the Lactation Consultants in the hospital mentioned that Sammy had a tongue tie and she recommended that we have it "snipped" but the hospital Pediatrician said is was very slight and not to worry. I certainly didn't want to "snip" anything if it wasn't necessary. The lactation consultant's response to the Pediatrician's no-action point of view was "she isn't the one doing the breast feeding".
I initially learned how to breastfeed in the private hospital in which Sammy was born. One of the unique things about this newly renovated hospital (Frances Perry House) is that they offer a dedicated lactation room to assist new moms with breast feeding, fully staffed with the lactation consultants. These women were literally hands-on--they walked right over to you, grabbed your boob, squeezed it and shoved your nipple in to your baby's mouth. Yikes! Initially shocking, but I got used to it quickly. Some of the new moms had GINORMOUS boobs--seriously giant bowling balls and hard as bowling balls too. Crazy big. Wow.
One of the things that made the learning really challenging was that each Lactation consultant gave a different set of instructions. On top of that I was given multiple books,pamphlets and diagrams all containing heaps of detailed instructions and conflicting opinions. My brain and boobs were exploding; I wondered if I would ever get it right. I was scared to go home, thinking that I wouldn't be able to feed Sammy.
In Australia, when you give birth, the hospital notifies your local neighborhood council and they assign a Maternal and Child Health Care nurse to come out to your home and check on you and your baby as soon as you are released from hospital, free of charge. Amazing. This person then becomes the equivalent of your Pediatrician and you go to their office (one in each neighborhood, a 10 minute walk from my house)weekly for the first month then at months 2, 4, 6 and 8 to have the baby weighed, measured and checked for healthy development. The Maternal and Child Health Care nurse in my neighborhood was a woman named Heather. A buxom woman with red hair and rainbow colored shoe laces. She had "been there, done that" and her response to every question and worry I had was "that's all normal. don't worry about it". She did, however, act decisively when I explained the trouble I was having with breastfeeding. She scheduled an appointment for Jane, a Lactation Consultant, to come out to the house the following day.
In Australia, when you give birth, the hospital notifies your local neighborhood council and they assign a Maternal and Child Health Care nurse to come out to your home and check on you and your baby as soon as you are released from hospital, free of charge. Amazing. This person then becomes the equivalent of your Pediatrician and you go to their office (one in each neighborhood, a 10 minute walk from my house)weekly for the first month then at months 2, 4, 6 and 8 to have the baby weighed, measured and checked for healthy development. The Maternal and Child Health Care nurse in my neighborhood was a woman named Heather. A buxom woman with red hair and rainbow colored shoe laces. She had "been there, done that" and her response to every question and worry I had was "that's all normal. don't worry about it". She did, however, act decisively when I explained the trouble I was having with breastfeeding. She scheduled an appointment for Jane, a Lactation Consultant, to come out to the house the following day.
Jane was truly an angel. I told her about the lengthy and conflicting instructions I had received, how I was struggling desperately with the breastfeeding and showed her my thick book of "how to" notes from the hospital. She advised me to throw them all away and let the baby lead. She showed me a simple way to hold the baby. She was also the one who confirmed that Sammy had a tongue-tie and encouraged me to have it snipped. She gave me the name of a doctor who could do the procedure. I followed her advice. The procedure took no more than two minutes. I held Sammy, he didn't cry at all and immediately after he was able to attach and drink quite well. In fact, he began a massive growth spurt of 600g or 1.3lbs a week!
For that first couple of months, in between feeds Sammy slept very little--20 minutes naps a couple of times a day, then at midnight or 1am finally going to sleep for a three hour stint. Mostly, though, he was awake screaming in pain. Absolutely agonizing, stabbing, howls. He was practically inconsolable. I tried everything--laying him across my forearms on his tummy, walking him around, gently bouncing him, feeding him more, talking to him, rocking him in my arms, laying him on his back and bicycling his legs, any combination of those things, all of those things...for hours, until it was time to feed him again. Grueling. This explains the near disappearance of my personal hygiene routine and my sanity.
Funny, but no matter how tired I get, I never get tired of staring at Sammy's little face. To get from howling to smiling baby, I stopped eating wheat, beans and onions. I took him to an Osteopath to check his spinal alignment. That made a huge difference as well. Smiling baby. Apparently his sacrum was very compressed Sammy still cries when he is tired or hungry, but not the howling pain sound that rips through my nervous system and my heart.
For that first couple of months, in between feeds Sammy slept very little--20 minutes naps a couple of times a day, then at midnight or 1am finally going to sleep for a three hour stint. Mostly, though, he was awake screaming in pain. Absolutely agonizing, stabbing, howls. He was practically inconsolable. I tried everything--laying him across my forearms on his tummy, walking him around, gently bouncing him, feeding him more, talking to him, rocking him in my arms, laying him on his back and bicycling his legs, any combination of those things, all of those things...for hours, until it was time to feed him again. Grueling. This explains the near disappearance of my personal hygiene routine and my sanity.
Funny, but no matter how tired I get, I never get tired of staring at Sammy's little face. To get from howling to smiling baby, I stopped eating wheat, beans and onions. I took him to an Osteopath to check his spinal alignment. That made a huge difference as well. Smiling baby. Apparently his sacrum was very compressed Sammy still cries when he is tired or hungry, but not the howling pain sound that rips through my nervous system and my heart.
On the weekends when Brendan did cook and it was time to sit down and relax for a meal, it seemed that it was always the time to feed Sam--or so his crying seemed to say. Our friend Kylie (most popular girls name in Oz)gave us a bouncy chair that I put on top of the table and rock with one hand while eating. He often would fall asleep in the bouncy chair.
More breast feeding joy...
I got abdominal cramps and bleeding after every feed-- all part of the normal discharge of lochia from the uterus. Yuck. My boobs would get painfully swollen, hard as rocks then needle-like, electric stabbing pains would shoot through them as the milk came in throughout the day. All resulting in milk leaking on the front of my shirts, creating circular stains which ultimately would dry in to crunchy patches. So sexy!! Did I mention the insane sugar cravings? I'm eating candy bars every day.. Mars bars, to be exact. Here in Oz that is the most popular candy bar. It is the equivalent of a Milky Way. And at a 7-11 (yes, they have those stores here too), they are $2 a bar or, the "$5 special": candy bar and a bottle of water. Ouch! I get mine at the supermarket when they go on sale for 99 cents.
Oh yes, I'm meant to be writing about the joys of motherhood. Right. So I'll skip the detailed results of not regularly brushing my teeth or hair-- my hair that is now so long and has so many knots that I am giving serious thought to dreadlocks.
I've just learned that babies need about 14 hours of sleep per day. Apparently they are supposed to go to bed at 7pm and sleep through the night-- with interruptions for eating. Then they are supposed to have two hours naps morning and afternoon. Wow. Certainly not my experience for the first five months. Little monkey Sam goes to sleep around midnight and only takes two 20 minute naps per day.
NOW
Now we are nearly through month six and things have improved. Whew!
Sammy is smiling and laughing. He goes to sleep between 7 and 830pm and wakes every 3-4 hours to eat. Now that I've mastered breast-feeding, it is simple to just roll over, feed Sammy and go back to sleep. Yes, we co-sleep. In the morning he is up around 730am, has a morning nap of 20-40 minutes and an afternoon nap of 1-2 hours. He now reaches for and grasps things with his tiny hands. He pushes up when he is on his belly. He can roll from front to back. He sits up on his own and only tips over sometimes. His cheeks are fabulously fat and healthy and cherry red. His eyes are bright and clear. I figured out that he likes to play when he first wakes up, so I quick put him in the bouncy chair and bring it in to the bathroom while I take a fast shower before he gets bored.
All of the earlier crying could have been a result of his tiny digestive system maturing or perhaps it is a bit like Cesar Milan and the Dog Whisperer--many of the baby issues are due to the parents. Uggh. Who knew that kicking his legs like a crazy man meant that he was tired? C'est la vie. I'm now more aware of early signs of tiredness and I also look at the clock to see how long he has been awake--since I now know that babies only stay awake for a couple of hours before they need to sleep again. Doh!
Interesting that when a baby sleeps more during the day he sleeps better and more at night. I've learned that it is possible to stretch the 20 minute naps in to a one to two hour nap (sometimes). That is thanks to the introduction of a pacifier (called a dummy here in Australia or NukNuk the nickname I gave it after the Nuk brand one that my friend Daniela gifted me). When he starts to wake up, I give him the NukNuk and sometimes he goes right back to sleep. Other times I have to pick him up and give him some boob and then he falls back to sleep. Or he doesn't.
Every day he is more and more fun to watch. He giggles and smiles and talks (well, makes lots of sounds that certainly must have meaning), he grabs his feet and puts them both in his mouth. Everything goes in his mouth. He is so proud of his ability to sit up and semi-crawl from place to place.
Enjoy the beautiful Sammy pics. Every morning he looks different; I can see him growing so fast!
Love,
D.
